Love - The passion of the world and how it escapes you

family vs. that person

I like this wonderful marvelous Godly person. They are truly truly truly everything I had ever thought of in terms of "a significant other". Too bad my family hates them because my family aren't Christians and this person is the "wrong race". Like that even matters!!! And I feel like they are making me choose one or the other. And my family ends up making me feel guilty when I have done nothing wrong. why do people have to be so stupid sometimes? With all the suffering and bad things in the world why can't my family just be happy for me????Why Why Why????

Dazey 2004-07-01 17:41 1153

Did God make us all different races? And if he did, was it so we would be interesting? Or...did we ALL descend from first one pair of people, (who must have been different to have gotten so much variety) and later from a single family, (Noah's)? Here is an interesting page to read about races and what genetic differences exist, and how they occurred. http://www.answersingenesis.org/Home/Area/AnswersBook/races18.asp

Momzilla 2003-09-21 18:02 1020

Well said, Table.

table 2003-09-20 09:28 1018

it's true that cultrual and ethnic differences are hard to overcome and can even break apart relationships and marriages. But i don't think that that can mean that interracial/interethnic marriages are wrong. Marriage is hard no matter who you marry. It's not just up to God to fix everything. Both partners have to be willing to work at it. I would never marry anyone with out carefully considering God's direction and will in my life with this person,first. Marriage is a HUGE decision and commitment. It's important to enter relationships with God's leading and with your eyes wide open. I think the issue here is that no matter who you marry, you and the other person need to be sure that youre sure that you're sure that that is the person God wants for you. Marriage is not to be taken lightly. The person i'm "dating" is different racialy and culturally from me. But we also share some of the same culture. I personally enjoy learing about his culture and I respect it very much. He respects and enjoys learning about me as well. If God leads us to something more than dating, then He will lead us through it. Marriage is hard work, no matter who you are married too. I know that differences are hard, and that many mixed marriages have failed. Many have succeeded as well. Personally all the interracial marriages I know of are going strong. I don't think it's wrong though.

Phyllis 2003-09-19 12:15 1017

I think you explained yourself very well sherri and you showed more courage than me for stepping up to the plate and explaining it as well as you have. it isn't racists to have reservations about mixed marriages..the same is true with different cultures...it just doesn't "normally' seem to work..and what you say about christians is something I've observed time and again..I have great respect for anyone who has the courage to say what you have..I don't t hink your statements are racists at all..its when we look down on one another. that's the problem...speaking the truth in Love is never wrong and in fact shows the courage that Jesus would want us to have..I personally find your posts refreshing...

sherri 2003-09-19 03:11 1016

Ok, let me clarify things then. Firstly. How would you like to visit Tokyo and find that every 3rd person you walked past on the street was black, or white, not japanese. Then you went out into the rest of the country to find the japanese culture and found the rest of the country was like that too. Then you went on to New Deli, and found the same thing - so you travelled around the rest of India and it was the same. Next you went to Russia, and there again, every third person you walked past was black or asian. And so you went to Africa - and there were as many white people as black. Then you went to Scandinavia - and half the people were middle eastern. In fact no single country existed anymore in its own identity, culture and ethno group - because people had all decided that it was 'racist' to have their own cultural and racial identities and all intermarried and moved. The reason people travel is to see diversity and the differences amongst the human race. God made us different and THATS A GOOD THING. I was NOT claiming that one group was inferior to another. HELLO! Secondly - regarding Amy's comment about "Gods love being able to surpass all worldly statistics". Did you also know that according to statistics, the divorce rate is higher in the church then in the secular world - and highest of all in the charismatic/penticostal church. Ie - people who are led by the Holy Spirit, have committed their lives to christ ect and are following God, have the overall worst marriage success rate in the west. I personally think that a lot of this stems from the thinking that "God will fix up any mistakes I make, including those regarding my marriage and choice of marriage partner" However, as is fairly obvious, he generally doesn't. I have seen so many people marry people from other ethnic backgrounds and struggle and struggle with the cultural differences and ways of thinking ect that they never took into account. And in christian cases, their friends, who encouraged them into the marriage by giving them "Godly" advice on the whole thing - ie, it's 'racist' not to encourage it - twiddle their thumbs and often as not, look in the other direction when the couple struggle. And thats at best. At worst they start pointing the finger, and if the marriage falls apart, self righteously condem the couple for not being "christian enough" to hold it together. I have so little respect for those kind of people because they just hop on the whole 'racist' bandwagon and don't actually think through the whole issue and only repeat what society happens to be telling them at the time. Some couples from different backgrounds and countries do have great marriages and live happily ever after. I'm not saying they don't. You only need to look around you to see that. However those kinds of marriages are in the minority (check the statistics). And I would also like to point out here that you are ASSUMING that I am talking about white/other race here which I'm NOT. This whole thing affects EVERYBODY equally. Interracial/cultural marriages can work, and work well, obviously. But many times the differences in background can put enormous strains on the marriage with very negative consequences. I have seen enough people divorce and struggle in their marriages to prove that. Chrisitans and non christians. If your marriage is God led (as in he's in your marriage choice whoever that may be) then you can relax and know that you're with the right person. But just saying that ALL interracial/cultural marriages are good and ok and it's 'unchristian' not to support them, is just taking something that society is saying is good and putting a 'christian' label on it.

Placid 2003-09-18 09:03 1015

Sherri not really. When I read it, it sounded a little racial to me as well. And I agree mostly with Amy.

sherri 2003-09-18 08:02 1013

I was talking about cultural differences amy not 'inferiority' of one group of people God made over another, I thought I made that clear.

Amy 2003-09-16 17:30 1011

I don't know that I agree with Sherri's statement "if God intended us to mix all our races together and that that was a 'good' thing, then why did he make us so different and racially unique in the first place?" 1)I believe that God's love is capable of surpassing ALL worldly statistics about how low interracial marriage success rates are. 2) For a person to say that it's not a good thing to mix races IS racial because in one way or another you are treating or viewing one of the races as inferior...even if you don't specify which one you are referring to. 3) "God did not make any of us inferior, but he did make us different." My boyfriend has blond hair and blue eyes while I have brown hair and brown eyes. Because we are different in appearance, does that mean that we shouldn't date each other?

sherri 2003-09-15 03:21 1007

I know that it's ususally considered 'christian' to support interracial marriage but statistics show that inter racial marriages have a much lower success rate (much lower) then people who marry within their own races and cultures. And my personal point here would be - if God intended us to mix all our races together and that that was a 'good' thing, then why did he make us so different and racially unique in the first place? "Racism" is treating or viewing someone from another race as 'inferior'. God did not make any of us inferior, but he did make us different. Your family might just be looking further down the track at the difficulties that could arise due to differences in background/values and culture which are VERY real between different nationalities.

SeeingRed 2003-07-08 01:15 880

I don't think you should go with your feelings. Feelings/Emotions can trick you. Go with what God is telling you to do. I don't see a problem with interracial relationships. I do think it's important to listen to your parent's concerns...even if you are an adult and they aren't Christian. In fact, that's all the more reason to hear them out...you get respect by giving it (I am sure you do respect them) no matter if the person is Christian or not. As far as your happiness...despite their corrupt view on things, I am sure they do want you to be happy in the end.

Placid 2003-04-18 11:41 750

Again I agree with Kit kat

kit kat 2003-04-18 11:01 749

don't live your life through your parents. Pursue your happiness. If they truly want the best for you, they will grant their well wishes in time. Be confident in your feelings.

table 2003-04-17 19:13 748

yeah you would think so, but nothing is that easy. or maybe i'm just stupid,I love my family dispite thier mistakes and i like this person too, seems cut and dry until emotions get mixed up in it. BLEH!

I Didnt Survive Helms Deep 2003-04-17 16:28 747

hmmmmmm well I think that should be your business rather than theirs. You're an adult you can make your own choices and they should be happy

table 2003-04-16 20:52 746

yes but racial slurs and hate are quite a different matter

I Didnt Survive Helms Deep 2003-04-16 20:33 745

Because you're their baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaby! They aren't gonna like anyone lol